


I Want to be Listened to.

by RainXandXBows



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, High School AU, M/M, Never mind this is joshler, Self-Harm, Slow Build/Burn, Slow recovery, Suicide Attempt, There is nothing platonic about it, broken!tyler, kinda platonic kinda not, shy!josh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:53:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9545252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainXandXBows/pseuds/RainXandXBows
Summary: A sad high school au that no one asked for, but everyone writes one, so I wrote one too... (-_-)





	1. Sending Signals and Red Flags

**Author's Note:**

> Series trigger warnings, like right in the beginning, so be careful my frens!

Blood. It was everywhere. It got all over the floor, probably staining it. It had gotten all over his hand too. It was starting to turn a hideous brown as it dried over the floor and on his hand. Small drops of blood still oozed from the thin slit in his wrist, but the drying blood slowed it down. He watched it dry, and he was convinced it was slower than watching paint dry, but he didn't care. He sat there on the kitchen floor with a knife in his left hand, and a bleeding wrist in his right, and watched the blood dry. He felt like he needed to drink a river to replace the blood he had lost, but he didn't move. He sat. It didn't hurt anymore. It was numb. His entire hand felt like it got cut off. He didn't want to cut too deep. Just a tight, thin, slit. Not hitting anything important, but judging by the amount of blood he wondered if he _had_ hit a vein.

Suddenly breaking the absolute silence he heard someone opening the door. He could tell from the footsteps it was his brother. He felt relief wash over him like a bucket of ice. He was glad it was his brother. He would must likely want to get him help if he found him first. He didn't want to die, but sometimes he felt like he did. Then he remembered the good things in life. There wasn't much, just his family. He didn't want to hurt his family, so this was his cry for help. If he merely just told them how he felt he feared they wouldn't take him seriously. So he thought showing them would be a better option.

He heard his brother turn and head for the kitchen. He heard him gasp and fall to the floor in front of him.

"Oh my god! Tyler!" He exclaimed. Tears were in his eyes already. He looked around at all the blood and then grabbed Tyler's face, forcing Tyler to look at him with hooded eyes. "Tyler, stay with me I'm gonna call for an ambulance! You stay with me!" Tyler felt so tired. So thirsty. He wanted to say 'thank you', but he had no strength. He felt his brother lightly slapping his face to keep him awake as he dialed 911, but Tyler couldn't hold on. He heard his brother screeching his name as he drifted off into a black hole.

*********

He smelled bleach, and that weird fabric smell. His ears were clogged with silence, and a faint steady beeping. He knew right away he was in a hospital room. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that. He figured he was alone because he heard no breathing, but as he slowly opened his eye lids he saw a tall grey headed man in a white coat staring at him.

"Hello Tyler. I'm Dr. Bates. How are you feeling?" The man asked in a very kind gentle voice. Tyler just returned his stare without any response. He still felt so weak and broken. "You lost quite a bit of blood, but not enough to need a transfusion. So your healing process will be a bit slower, but you'll feel much better after you get some food in you." The doctor informed after seeing that Tyler wasn't going to be talking anytime soon. Tyler let the words process in his foggy head and nodded ever so lightly. Soon after, the doctor smiled and then walked out of the room.

He heard his mom outside in the hallway. He heard her footsteps start racing toward his hospital room. He half expected her to burst in with tears streaking her face, and she'd start yelling at him, but that's not what happened. He heard her steps slow down and then saw her head peek around the door.

"Tyler, sweetie," she says as she enters the room carefully, "honey, I.." she drifts off like she has no idea what to say. Tyler just turns his head away from her and stares outside the window. It's dark out and he thinks maybe it's almost morning time. His action elicits tears in his mothers eyes, as she try's again to speak to her son getting closer and grasping his arm. His hurt arm. "Tyler I had no idea you were feeling this way!" She says firmly. Trying to get him to believe it, but he already knew that. He already knew that no one had any clue that he was this far gone. This broken. He slowly turned his head to look at the arm she was grasping. The arm that was wrapped in gauze and bandages. His expression never changed, always emotionless. He was too weak to display emotion, or sadness.

"Tyler?" Zack looked at him with hurt in his eyes. Concern. Tyler looked up into his eyes and couldn't take it anymore. He turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He could not deal with this right now. He had done exactly opposite of what he wanted to do, and that was hurt his family. He heard his mom trying to get him to explain why he was so sad, then he heard his brother telling their mom that he needs time. He needs time and encouragement. Their mother went on and on about how she thought that's what she was doing, and how she feels like she is failing as a mother. Tyler squeezed his eyes shut further and forced himself to fall asleep. Forced himself to think of happy things, pleasant memories. He thought of the day his sister was born. The day when he made his first basket. They day he won his first game. The day his siblings performed in a play together at their church. Slowly, he feel asleep, despite his mothers cries.

*********

He woke up again to the sound of unfamiliar footsteps. Shoes that squeaked on the sleek floor. He raised his eyes to look at a girl with hair as orange as a pumpkin, bright and happy in the morning sunshine, and it matched her smile.

"Hi there Tyler," she greeted softly. "My name is Hayley. I just came to bring you some soup. Do you like chicken noodle?" She asked sweetly. He took in a slow deep breath and started to position himself to eat. He tried to lift the corners of his mouth to smile in response but it came out as a cry for help. "Are you ok? Do you need some help?" She asked suddenly worried.

"No.. I-I'm ok," his voice was scratchy and hoarse and his words came out in a hushed whisper.

"Alright, well, take it easy," she nodded and patted his arm. "So did you say chicken noodle was ok?" She asked again, trying to get him to talk again, but it hurt to talk so he just nodded softly. She smiled brightly and brought over a bowl and spoon. Both plastic. She scooped up a noodle and some broth and held it out for him in front of his mouth. It seemed really weird to be fed, but he wasn't complaining so he just gently opened his mouth. After a few bites, bites?, slurps?, he didn't know, after a few spoonfuls he started to feel much better, just like the doctor said. His mind started to fill with questions, but one was burning his mind and he had to ask it first.

"Did I hit a vein?" He asked with a small, nervous voice. Her face remained the same as she continued to feed him and started to answer his question.

"You did, yes, but the puncture was very small. We were able to fix you up pretty fast." She smiled at the last sentence. He nodded again as he chewed on a chunk of chicken.

"Will I be able to leave soon?" He asked the question that he found next in line of pressing importance. She gave him a look that told him she didn't really know, but she still answered to the best of her ability.

"When your feeling stronger, I think you should be in good enough physical shape to leave, yes." She was so nice, but he heard it. When she said ' _physical_ shape', he heard the judgement in her voice. Suddenly he didn't feel very safe around her anymore, but he still let her feed him. He watched her carefully as she awaited his next question. He slurped up some broth before vocalizing his next inquiry.

"Will they make me start seeing a psychologist?" He asked with a hint of dismay in his tone. She stopped her actions for a second and looked at him, studied him.

"Do you think that talking with someone could help you Tyler?" She asked with her smooth, silky voice. He looked at his hands while trying to contemplate how he felt. She moved to feed him another spoonful and he took it still eyeing his intertwined fingers. It was a chunk of a soft carrot that melted into his mouth. Those were his favorite part of the soup. He decided he didn't want to answer that layered question so he just shrugged. Still staring at his hands. "Maybe you might want to talk about it when you feel better. For now I'll get Dr. Bates and tell him that I gave you something to eat. He will come in, and then you can talk to him about being discharged ok?" Her kind smile returned, but Tyler continued to look at his uninteresting hands and nodded in response.

She left him alone with his thoughts.

_'Great job, you idiot! You landed yourself in the hospital! Now they will want to send you away somewhere! An asylum, maybe? No one wants a suicidal son!'_

As soon as the words circled in his mind he grabbed at his hair and violently shook his head. Pulling at his hair. Wanting to stop the words from repeating themselves over and over again.

"Tyler?" He heard a deep voice pull him out of his dark place. It was the doctor. He looked at him with concerned eyes, but he didn't ask. "Hayley informed me that you had something to eat and are feeling a bit better. Are you feeling like you are up to going home soon?" He asked still trying to read the broken boy in the hospital bed.

"Is that ok? Am I free to go?" Tyler asked, sort of confused that they would want him to leave so soon. Especially after just witnessing that break down.

"Your parents would like to take you home as soon as your ready. As long as that is what you want then you are in good enough physical health to be discharged." Dr. Bates stated.

"But not good enough mentally?" Tyler asked starting to get a little irritated with the implication. The doctor furrowed his eyebrows in thought, and he moved to sit next to Tyler on his mechanical bed.

"I have talked with your parents who are willing to start you on a trial of some anti-depressants. Hopefully, if they work for you, those will kickstart your mental and emotional healing process. I have recommended some therapists to your parents as well who can aid in helping you, but the medication and the therapy, those are just optional Tyler. It's up to you to _choose_ to get better. Only _you_ know what's best for you!"

Tyler did _not_ agree with that. But for some reason it made him feel a bit better. He nodded and told his doctor that he would, in fact, like to go home.

**********

After watching his parents fill out a ton of papers, and getting himself dressed in the fresh clothes they had brought, he was in the car driving back home. The car ride was completely silent and he felt like they hated him.

_'They can't believe what a let down you've become! There probably is gonna be a huge hospital bill now! You never can do anything right!'_

The thoughts made hot tears force their way into his eyes.

Not long after, they were pulling into their driveway. As soon as the car parked Tyler jumped out and raced into the house, up the stairs, and into his room. He let the burning tears fall as he paced around his room. He walked back and forth, fighting with his thoughts. He heard movement outside his room so he swiftly turned and entered his tiny walk in closet. The tears had stopped and the words went away, leaving him in peace and giving him silence. He leaned against the door and slid down to the floor. He hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees. Attempting to clear his mind of all thought, he stared at his clothing and some shoes.

He saw it sitting there, and he felt a wave of guilt after looking in a corner of his closet that he had forgotten existed. It didn't surprise him. He knew it was there. He never had time to really pull it out and examine it. He remembered when he got it. It was on one of his birthdays. Was it his fourteenth? Fifteenth? He didn't remember. One of those. His mother had said she had no idea what else to get him. She saw it and thought 'why not'. He wasn't ungrateful, he actually thought it was cool. He never gave it a second thought after that though. So there it sat. In his closet for around two years.

It had a ton of cool features, Tyler discovered. He sat there on his closet floor reading the list of things the keyboard could do on the unopened box. Out of sheer curiosity he scooted closer and started to open the box. Unwrapping all of the parts. He was sitting in a very cramped closet still, so he wouldn't need to attach the legs just yet. In a quick search of the walls he found a power outlet he did not even know existed behind some old shoes. He plugged in the keyboard and turned it on. It made a weird humming noise and he was afraid it was gonna start blasting loud music. He quickly turned the volume very low, but to where he could still hear it.

After what felt like years of just staring at it and all the buttons and gadgets, Tyler finally decided he'd try to learn how to play, but he had no idea where to start. He never took any lessons of any sort when it came to music. He started to really wonder why his mother thought it was a good idea to get him a keyboard. Did she want him to learn? Out of all the hobbies she could have chosen, why music? Out of all the instruments, why a keyboard? Was it easier to learn to play piano? He was throughly confused.

He tried to remember some basic knowledge of music that he learned in elementary school. He remembered that C was the main key on a piano. He also remembered that the keys went from A-G and then started back at A again, but that was about it. He had no clue where C was or anything else for that matter. So he guessed. He picked the key right in between the two black keys in the middle of the board. When he heard it he immediately knew it wasn't a C. It just didn't sound right. So he move one key to the left.

That was it! It sounded right to him. It had to be right!

He started messing around with other keys. He particularly like the way the black keys sounded. Dark, sad, and a little... _off_. He didn't even realize it, but he was smiling. He was smiling up until the closet door started to open. He tried to pretend that he was oblivious to his mother hovering over his shoulder. He didn't know what she was doing just standing there watching him playing with the keyboard. He got agitated after awhile and looked up to see her smiling wide and genuine.

"You finally pulled it out of the box. It sounds so nice Tyler," she beamed. He looked back down toward the keys. She shuffled behind him, sitting down on the floor with him. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and her bright smile disappeared. Her tears started pouring out as she grasped onto her oldest son for dear life. Tyler stayed absolutely still as she cried onto his shoulder. "Tyler I know that I need to stay strong for you, but I'm just so confused. You were ok. You were happy weren't you? I need you to know that I'm here. I'm here for you, and your father and siblings, they are _here_ for you!"

That was it. Tyler broke down right there. He turned into his mothers embrace and wept. His sobs raked through his body as he struggled to catch a breath.

"I-I'm s-so scared," he whispered.

"There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of sweetie! We are all here to protect you. That's our job."

"I'm so s-sorry, I should h-have just t-told you."

"Your ok honey, we are all gonna be ok," his mom rubbed soothing circles into his back and held him tight. "Honey, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I brought you the medicine that your doctor prescribed. Maybe it'll help?" She asked hesitantly. Not wanting to hurt him any further. The sobs slowed down and he managed a tiny nod.

"Yea, I'll try it," he whispered.

"Ok, why don't you go over and sit down, I'll bring it to you," she got up and went over to his desk and picked up the small pink pill and glass of water. He turned off his keyboard and went over to his bed. He swallowed the small pill and drank down the entire glass of water. He didn't realize how thirsty he was until that moment.

"Can I get another glass of water?"

"Of course!" She headed over to the bathroom to fill up his glass. He laid down on his bed and felt a heavy weight set on his eyelids. He listened as his mom told Zack just outside his room, that he was ok, and he was going to be ok.

He was going to be ok.

And with that, he fell asleep.

**********

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Tyler's alarm went off. He woke up with a start. A spring in his step. The morning autumn sun was beaming in through his window, and he felt great! He turned off his alarm and looked over to where his brother usually sleeps to tell him good morning, but he wasn't there. Tyler quickly averted his eyes and noticed the glass of water on his nightstand. He drank it down in one go, and then moved to find some clothes. He put on his usual basketball shorts and knee-high socks with his black vans. He paired it with a plain white t-shirt. He was gonna need to go shopping soon. His clothes were boring! He grabbed his backpack after carelessly checking the mirror for any flaws in his hair, and raced down stairs where he heard his family awake.

" _Good_ morning Josephs!" He exclaimed as he waltzed into the kitchen, smiling bright and cheery. He looked around to see most of his families jaws hanging open. Shock and fear spread across their faces.

"Good morning Ty!" He heard Jay say from the kitchen table. Maddy just looked at their mom with worried eyes.

"Mommy is Tyler ok?" Maddy asked with a frown.

"Tyler is just fine, honey. Isn't that right Tyler?" She asked with hope in her face. Suddenly Tyler remembered yesterday's events. How could he have forgotten all that?

"Yeah. For some reason I feel like I'm in the clouds! I think it's that medication!" Tyler laughed as his family stood there still in shock. He turned around to see Zack. He was shocked too. Just behind him he saw the couch with a pillow and blanket. "Dude what the heck? Did you sleep on the couch or something?" Tyler asked playfully. Zack just looked down staring at the carpet. Tyler felt a pang of guilt hit his spine. "Zack, you don't have to be afraid of me."

"No! I'm not afraid of you," Zack corrected him immediately. "I just thought you were gonna stay home and rest today. I thought I'd give you space." He explained.

"Dude it's your room too! You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch because of my stupidity!" Tyler laughed again, but it was almost humorless.

"Your not stupid Tyler, don't say stuff like that," snapped his dad. That was the first thing his father said to him since this has all gone down.

"Thank you Dad! That means a lot," he said genuinely touched. His dad looked shocked again. They all did. "Well, I better be off to school!" Before he left he went into the fridge and grabbed a bottled water. He was just about out the door when he heard his mom snap out of her shocked state.

"Wait, Tyler! If you feel strange in _any_ way, you call me right away and I'll come get you! We still don't know about how this medicine could affect you. _Please_ be careful!" She pleaded.

"Of course, I know, I'll be gentle today!" Tyler bolted outside into the crisp autumn air and went forth. He was going to force himself to get better. Nothing was going to hinder him from improving his emotional health.

That is until he stepped back into hell itself.

School.

His head wasn't in the clouds anymore, but his mood certainly wasn't completely dampened. The anti-depressants took care of that. He made his way to his locker, and headed off to his first class. Biology wasn't too bad. He liked Mr. Sage. He was cool. So he walked in with a smile and sat down at his usual desk. As he pulled all his stuff out that he needed for this class, a flash of blue entered the room. Tyler was too busy fishing for his homework to look what it was, but he soon found out when Mr. Sage started class.

"Ok everyone this is Josh. He's new here. He's from California, which probably explains the blue hair," the class chuckled and Tyler studied the obviously shy boy standing in the front of the room, "is there anything else you would like to tell us about yourself Josh?" Mr. Sage asked curiously. The blue haired boy just shook his head as he stared at the ugly floor. "Ok well why don't you take a seat, and we will begin." Josh shot straight to an open seat in the back of the room and slumped into his chair. Tyler liked his hair, it was different and it brought color into the room.

After class was over Tyler, the great clumsy idiot, was trying to pick up all the papers he dropped out of his binder while Josh went up to Mr. Sage whispering some indecipherable question. Tyler wasn't really paying attention when Mr. Sage called for him.

"Tyler!... _Hey_ , Tyler!"

"Oh! Yes sorry! What's up?" Tyler asked making his way over to the teacher and the boy whose eyes were trained to the floor again.

"You have English next period right?"

"Yes I do," Tyler said already knowing where this is going.

"Great, can you show Josh where it is?"

"Absolutely! Right this way Josh," Tyler smiled at the boy who would not make eye contact with him.

"Hey, Tyler.. you feeling alright? You seem a bit..different.. today," Mr. Sage asked with concern, and Tyler felt touched that he cared to even notice.

"I'm actually doing much better today thank you for asking!" Tyler beamed as he exited the classroom with Josh in tow, ignoring the concerned look his teacher gave him. As they walked down the hallway Tyler couldn't resist, maybe it was the medication, maybe he was just crazy, but he had to say it.

"Dude, I _love_ your hair!"


	2. Where Light Once Was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... there is a reason why this took so long. I was trying to figure out a way to end it.. and didn't like any of my ideas so I changed it completely and had to pretty much rewrite the whole thing. But it still has the same basic principle, but I did change the rating.. sorry..
> 
> Ok enjoy!

The poor kid blushed furiously from the compliment. His arms wrapped around his binder, holding it close to his chest and his gaze still turned down to the floor. "Thanks," Josh whispered just barely audible. Tyler took in what he was wearing. He had a NASA shirt on with black skin tight jeans and solid black converse. He seemed kind of like a nerd, but he had gauges in his ears that gave off a punk vibe. Tyler just shook his head at the boys timidness.

"So what classes do you have after English?" Tyler asked, curious if he had any other classes with him. Josh hesitated for a second before reaching a hand into his back pocket and handing his schedule to Tyler. Tyler beamed as he saw that they had almost every class together, even lunch. The only difference was that Josh was in band when Tyler was in PE. "Oh dude, we have like the exact same schedule. I'm not in band, though." Tyler explained as he handed back the schedule and Josh took it and shoved it back in his pocket. "You want me to accompany you to the other classes for today?" Tyler suggested.

"Um.. if that would um.. be ok?" Josh asked uncertain.

"Yeah of course, I got nothing else goin' on.." Tyler laughed, but it faded as he realized how he really didn't have many friends. Josh just nodded, still never making eye contact as they entered the English classroom. Tyler took a seat at his regular desk and Josh sat next to him. Tyler felt kind of happy that this cripplingly shy boy felt comfortable sitting by him. "And if you'd like you could sit with me at lunch," Tyler offered. A small pause before, for the first time that day, Josh looked up at Tyler. He had a small shy smile as he nodded slightly. "GREAT!" Tyler cheered and clapped his hands together super loud, causing Josh to jump and the rest of the classroom to turn and stare at him. Ok.. that was probably the medicine. Tyler gave an apologetic shrug to the teacher and they continued on with class. Tyler stole a quick glance at Josh and saw a faint smile forcing its way onto Josh's lips.

 

**********

 

Geometry was the worst. Not because Tyler hated the course or what he was learning, but because the teacher was a space cadet. Ok maybe that's a little rude, but it was true! She was currently sitting at her desk conversing with the female students about which wedding dress to pick out. She had been doing this all semester. Planning her wedding. Asking her students which font would be best on the invitations. Ranting about how she couldn't believe her fiancé couldn't 'afford' a platinum ring, and got her a gold ring instead. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that most the kids in this class were failing because she would send them home with homework that she never explained. Even with this increase of dopamine coursing through his veins Tyler was up to his neck in fury. He was a basketball player. If he couldn't keep his grades up he wouldn't be allowed to play. That would definitely boost his emotional health. Tyler rolled his eyes at the blond woman crying to a few sympathetic girls.

"Ugggh, I hate this class," Tyler threw his head back in annoyance. Josh looked up from his textbook and over at Tyler. He shifted uncomfortably.

"...w-why?" Josh asked with a hurt expression.

"The teacher is a jerk! She won't teach us anything!" Tyler gestured to the blond who was over dramatically blowing her nose. Josh looked over to her and nodded in understanding. "I mean I don't mind math, it's just hard to grasp if you don't have any explanations." Josh looked over at Tyler and smiled a little.

"Well, what are you.. uh.. what don't you understand?" Josh asked carefully.

"Like, this py-goream thing..." Tyler gestured to his opened textbook. There was a triangle and a bunch of numbers, and there were letters too... he was so confused.

"Oh.. you mean the Pythagorean Theorem!" Josh smiled brightly and spoke without stuttering. Tyler looked up at Josh with surprise at his sudden change in demeanor, but it quickly turned back to annoyance.

"Yeah yeah that.. it's just.. the textbook hardly explains it in terms that I can understand.." Tyler childishly tossed his book away and slumped into his chair. Tyler could see Josh try to stop himself from laughing but he couldn't so it came out as a giggle.

"Uh.. yea.. um.. if you need help, I could explain some stuff to you.. I love geometry," Josh said to his lap. Tyler leaned over trying to get the guy to look at him, but failed.

"Sure! That would be epic dude!" Tyler exclaimed. Josh just blushed and turned back to his textbook. "So you wanna meet at the library after our last period then?" Josh replied with a small nod and Tyler smiled. Thank goodness! Hopefully now he could get at least a C in this class, or maybe a B! That would be even better! Tyler couldn't wait.

 

**********

 

"Do.. uh.. most people bring their own lunch?" Josh asked concerned at seeing pretty much _all_ the students with sack lunches. Tyler turned to him from his locker, and looked at the new kid sympathetically.

"Yea, the food here is horrible, and the lunch lady is even worse.. we all pretty much pack our own lunches." Tyler shrugged at the nervous kid and turned back to his locker. He was digging around in his backpack and found it empty. Apparently when he had rushed out of the house he had forgotten to pack his lunch. He didn't want to look like an idiot so he had an idea. He closed his locker and slung an arm around Josh's shoulders, who shrunk from the sudden action. "Ya'know what? I'll eat hot lunch with you!"

"No, no that's fine, I'm o-ok... really I-I don't want you to-" Josh shook his head and held his hands out to emphasize, but Tyler cut him off.

"Non-sense dude! I don't want you to feel out of place on your first day!" Tyler beamed over at Josh as he silently, and reluctantly, conceded.

They entered the busy cafeteria and headed to the very empty line for the school lunch.

"Oh, well if it isn't Mr. Grumpypants!" The lunch lady, with the name Donna on her apron, said to Tyler with her voice dripping with malice. "What? No black hoodie to hide the tears on your face today?" She asked with a bored expression. Tyler suddenly felt his heart speed up. Lunchtime was usually the worst for him. He was always alone and felt like he was invisible, but with Josh here,(and maybe some help from the medication) he hadn't had hardly any negative thoughts today. He wanted to snap back at her with something, _anything_ , but couldn't, so he just pointed to the grayish colored hot dog and moved along the line.

"Hi, my name is Josh Dun. I'm new here. It's nice to meet you Donna," Josh said with an award winning smile and held out his hand. She took it hesitantly, but couldn't stop herself from falling under the obvious spell he was casting upon her.

"Well, it's nice to meet you," she blushed. Tyler's mouth dropped to the floor. How the hell did the shyest boy he had ever met just do that? "I like your hair.. it's different," she smiled a yellow toothed smile. Tyler thought he was going to be sick. Josh just returned the smile and grabbed a grayish colored slice of pizza. "Word to the wise, Josh, the food here is terrible. I'd suggest a packed lunch," she shrugged and continued stirring some mystery meat.

"Thank you, have a nice day," he nodded, and then walked over to Tyler who's mouth was probably catching flies by now. He turned his head, mouth still ajar, and looked straight at Josh.

"How in the _cheesy_ _chalupa_ did you do that?" Tyler deadpanned as he guided Josh to the table he usually sits at. Josh's face scrunched.

"You just have to be nice. 'Kill them with kindness', my mom always says," Josh informed. Tyler just shook his head and poked his rubbery hot dog. Josh tried to take a bite of his pizza but froze when he realized it was like biting into stone. Josh face of pure disgust made Tyler erupt into laughter. "So um.. school lunch is not a good idea.. got it." Josh nodded as he tried to enjoy his room temperature milk, but failed miserably and ended up gagging.

"Yeah dude, never a good idea!" Tyler laughed again.

"Hey, the food at my school was awesome!" Josh defended.

"Yeah, probably a high end, contemporary school that served crab and caviar right?" Tyler teased. Josh gave him an unamused glance.

"I lived in Oceanside, not Beverly Hills," Josh deadpanned.

"Wow! Must be amazing to live by the ocean," Tyler teased again. It took a while for Josh to reply. He was staring at something behind Tyler, but then realized he was just spoken to and snapped out of what he was thinking about.

"Huh?.. oh yea.. it was nice I guess. I think you kinda take that stuff for granted when you live there your whole life," Josh said as he stared at his hands.

"Yea I guess you would," Tyler said smiling at the boy. He was happy Josh wasn't stuttering when he talked anymore. He was happy he actually connected with someone for once, and he prayed it wasn't just because of those pills he took. Josh continued to glance over Tyler's shoulder, and Tyler was dying with curiosity. "Dude, what the heck are you looking at," he said craning his neck to search behind him, half expecting to see a purple dancing monkey.

"Oh, uh.." Josh said as he shifted uncomfortably. "Are a lot of people here gay?" He asked, bewildered. Tyler busted up laughing.

"What?! What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, quickly getting an answer as he turned around to see Pete and Patrick. Pete was on Tyler's basketball team and Patrick was a kid he had know since the first grade, and there they were blatantly holding hands as they headed for a table. Tyler's face twisted up in confusion. As they headed over toward him he reached out and grabbed at Pete's arm and yanked him over, causing Josh to shrink in his seat and stare at his lap. "Dude.. are you and 'Trick..." he trailed off, not sure of how to put it.

"Dating?.. yea," Pete nodded, and Tyler's face exploded with surprise.

"Wow!... Ok, cool. Why haven't I heard about this before?" Tyler asked, realizing later what a stupid question that was.

"Well, you haven't really been around very much, man," Patrick said sympathetically, giving Tyler a soft smile.

"Yeah dude, the guys were worried you were gonna end up quitting the team," Pete said with concern.

"Oh no, I'll never quit the team. And yea I guess your right, I've kinda been outta commission for awhile," Tyler said as he shrunk a bit. He saw Josh out of the corner of his eye trying to follow the conversation. Looking confused at Tyler.

"Well we're just happy you were ok, man," Patrick said with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah dude, we need you on the team, so don't get yourself sent to the hospital again!" Pete teased, but it cause Tyler's heart and face to drop. Patrick swiftly elbowed Pete and gave him a look. Tyler could see Josh's face screw up with concern, and he glanced at Tyler's bandaged arm. "I mean, uh-" Pete tried to save himself but the damage had already been done so Tyler cut him off.

"WELL! Congrats! Sorry I didn't figure you guys out before. I guess I'm a little slow. See you at practice tomorrow Pete!" Tyler put on a, obviously fake, toothy grin and waved them off. Not even bothering to introduce Josh, which he was sure would probably make Josh even more uncomfortable if he did. They walked away and Patrick was reproving Pete for being so brazen. Tyler was more scared of what Josh was going to say, but to his surprise he stayed silent. They finished their lunch and were heading for their next class when Josh asked,

"So, Tyler... What is a cheesy chalupa?"

Tyler threw his head back and laughed for a full 60 seconds, leaning against some random lockers for support, before patting his new friends shoulder. "In time, Josh.. in time."

 

*************

 

"Ok so you remember where the music room was? Over by the cafeteria?"

"Yes," Josh replied simply.

"Ok, great. I'll just be over there in the west building which is the gym."

"Yes, I remember." Josh smiled.

"Good," Tyler was a bit sad to be parting ways with his newfound friend. He wondered how he actually would have done today if it wasn't for Josh. "I'll see you later then," he waved a little wave, and started to slowly walk backwards.

"Oh, yea.. were we gonna meet at the.. uh.. the library?" Josh asked hesitantly. How could Tyler have forgot?!

"Oh my gosh! Yes! I'll see you after class then!" Tyler exclaimed. They both turned and headed to their next classes. The walk to the boys locker room was weirdly silent. Something was missing. That voice in his head. Those words. They were suppressed by the medication. He didn't notice that until now. Until he was alone. As he entered the locker room, the silence was abruptly replaced with the sound of guys laughing and hollering. It sent a sudden lightning bolt of pain to Tyler's temple. He tried to blink away the blurriness from his vision and focus on getting dressed, but he was struggling a bit. When he was fully in his gym clothes, he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder.

"Hey Tyler, my man! I'm so glad to see you, you were kinda missing for a few days. Heard you were in the hospital. Is everything ok?" Tyler felt a warm feeling bloom in his chest. This was one of the nicest guys in the entire school. He always was concerned about everyones well being, and Tyler, and no doubt others, felt at peace when talking to him. He was tall and a basketball player, but he was so open-hearted and not at all like most of the jocks on the team. However, Tyler couldn't help but feel annoyed that there was a rumor of him ending up in the hospital going around. Whether it was true or not.

"Hi Dallon. I, uh, was only in the hospital for a day.." Tyler informed him. Dallon glanced at Tyler's bandaged arm, and nodded solemnly. Removing his hand from his shoulder, Tyler felt like he had hurt the guy. "But I feel much better!" Tyler tried to lighten the situation with a smile, and Dallon, being Dallon, genuinely smiled back.

"Well I'm happy to hear it! Are you sure you'll be ok in PE today with that arm?"

"Oh yea, I'm sure I'll be fine."

Yea.. he was fine until he entered the gym, and heard the coach call out his name.

"Joseph! Is that an injury?" He pointed. Tyler stopped in his tracks, and wordlessly nodded. "Run laps.. I don't want your arm to be like that for the game next week!"

Tyler felt his stomach doing backflips. He felt bad for injuring himself when he knew a game was coming up. He should have thought it through more. But as he thought more about it, Tyler realized that he needed help. He was glad he got it when he did. He just wished he could've found a better way to find it. To get their attention.

"JOSEPH! I said _run_ didn't I?"

Tyler snapped out of his thoughts and obediently started running around the gym as the rest of the students were getting ready to play dodgeball.

Black. Black. Why was everything black? His vision blurred again and his head shot with more pain. He tried to keep running. Keeping a pace, but it was getting worse. Soon his stomach was stirring again. He felt nauseous. Maybe it was the horrific school food he ate. Even though he didn't eat much of it. Every time he would stop running for a second his vision would slowly return, and his brain relaxed a bit. As soon as he was going to start running again, the bell rang, and they all headed back to the locker rooms.

Tyler could barely remember anything about getting dressed, or even exiting the loud locker room to the equally as loud hallway. Tyler worked on auto-pilot as he put all his books and papers in his backpack. He shut his locker, and turned on his heel only to be met by eyes cast down to the floor, and bright sky blue hair. Suddenly his vision cleared up a bit, the pain subsided, and the loud humming of teenagers rushing around became sharper and more focused.

"I-I kinda..f-forgot where the library was.." he stuttered, utterly embarrassed. Tyler smiled at the boy. Feeling much better suddenly.

"Hey, but you remembered where my locker was! So that's a victory," Tyler reassured him, slinging an arm over his shoulders and leading him into the direction of the library. His eyes were still on the ground, but he was smiling. Tyler felt scared as he thought about what he would have done if Josh didn't show up at his locker. He probably would have continued working on automatic and forget to even go to the library. Tyler shook that thought off as he removed his arm from Josh. "So, how was band?" Tyler asked when he saw a medium sized black case in Josh's hand.

"It was nice."

"What instrument is that?" Tyler asked curiously.

"Trumpet," Josh stated quietly, almost as if he was embarrassed.

"That's sick, dude!" Tyler exclaimed. Josh scrunched his nose from Tyler's choice of words, but smiled after. "I have a keyboard at home, I actually just started messing around with it yesterday," Tyler said nodding at the memory. Josh just smiled at Tyler and nodded. They were entering the library so Tyler dramatically lowered his voice to a whisper, making the boy laugh. "So do you play piano?"

"No," Josh played along with the forced whispering. They found an empty table and as Josh pulled out his geometry book he whispered, "but I play the drums." Tyler was surprised but also intrigued. Dropping the whispering thing immediately he replied,

"Oh my gosh, really? That's really cool, Josh!" Josh just smiled with a light blush tinting his features.

 

***************

 

"...see then you just find the square root of 64, and that's the missing length of the hypotenuse! So what would the answer be?"

"8, obviously. Now, why does it suddenly seem like it's the easiest thing in the world?" Tyler asked, annoyed that he couldn't understand something so simple, but also extremely grateful for such an awesome tutor. Josh smiled in triumph.

"I guess you just needed a teacher."

"I needed a _good_ teacher!" Tyler poked at Josh's arm. They both laughed and then started putting stuff away. Getting ready to head home. "Didn't even think about what my parents might be thinking when I didn't come home from school right away," Tyler said flatly. Josh's head snapped up.

"Are you in trouble? Will they be mad?" Josh asked hurriedly.

"They'll be concerned, and maybe a little annoyed, but they'll get over it. I'll just tell them my new friend was helping me with my one F in school! They'll love that!" He explained as they headed outside. Josh smiled weakly and blushed when Tyler referred to him as a friend. They came to a road which seemed to be their crossroads.

"Well, my house is this way," Josh pointed the opposite direction of Tyler's house. Tyler nodded.

"My house is this way," Tyler nodded his head to the west. Josh looked down at the cement.

"I-I wanted to t-thank you for making m-me feel so welcome."

"Thank me? Thank _you_!" They both smiled and left it at that. After a few seconds of silence Tyler had to ruin the mood. "Well, I have to go now, but I'll see ya tomorrow," Tyler said with a smile.

"Yea, ok.. see you tomorrow Tyler," Josh waved shyly and started to walk in the direction of his house. Tyler watched as he turned a corner and disappeared from view.

"Thank you, Josh.." Tyler whispered. Knowing full well that Josh didn't just help him with his homework today.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whatcha guys think? Tell me, tell me, tell me! **jumps up and down like a little kid**


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